Not so naughty 'nana bread

Birthdays, banana bread and braving the North!

Ayup Chucks!

It's been a little while for sure hasn't it? 

At least 11 days without writing a single word on this blog. 

*Rings bell*

'Shame!' 

*Rings bell again*

Repeat x 60

It may seem like inconsistency but I assure you it's not it's... spontaneity... Yes we'll go with that. Maybe people have been pleased by the absence of poor quality food images and incoherent rambling taking up the internet space, maybe people have been dismayed - the most likely outcome I can rationalize is that most people probably haven't noticed. Whatever the case, I'm back today with yet another recipe and a few more tales from the crypt  my life. The therapist who lives in my brain, tells me it's good to talk to other people about such things.

This weekend has been rather eventful I must admit due to the fact that it was actually my birthday on Friday! Whooop! And, with me aiming to blossom from reclusive slug to social butterfly by 2016, I actually organized to celebrate it this year with some of the nearest and dearest. Well, it's not everyday you turn [insert true age here minus 5 years]. 

As well as sharing what my friends and I got up to, i'm also going to share all the naughty yet delicious food I've indulged in over the last few days because it was my birthday damn it and if there is ever a time to eat like you've just come out of a 10 year long coma, it is NOW! 

However, before I get into all that I would like to go all wet behind the ears for a moment. Sorry, I promise this won't take long. Now, a birthday is most definitely a time to celebrate your life for however long you have managed to be present on the planet (ensure you eat at least a pound of cake per year of life) but it's also a great chance to celebrate the other people who have made that time so much more special.  

I have so far not lived a hard or traumatic life as any standards go (something I am beyond grateful for) but regardless, whenever tough times have arisen, I have always been able to count on my family and friends for both honest guidance and unconditional support. I know it’s corny, I know it’s unoriginal and I know it’s a complete cliché but honestly I just wanted to say thank you to all the wonderful people in my life. I don’t know why you put up with me (because I most certainly wouldn’t) and I hope you know how much I love you.   

*Takes a moment to vomit into a waste paper bin and scald oneself for being sappier than a pine tree* 

 Right, with that little speech over time to move onto how the last few days have been spent :). 

Thursday evening kicked off the celebrations when my big sister came over to spend a chilled evening in with me and the grandparents. Tasha's birthday is actually the day before mine which always used to confuse me as a kid because the odds of being born so close in date (despite being three years apart) seemed incomprehensible. However, trace nine months back from our birthdays and you get to a very reasonable culprit explanation – Valentine’s day.

We exchanged presents, drank wine and ate a lot of Chinese takeaway (my favourite of all the fast foods). When I say lots, I mean, required assistance to get out of bed the next day - lots. We dove into bowls of chicken/sweetcorn soup, tore into spare ribs, chicken satay skewers and crispy duck rolls, before munching through mountains of takeaway classics including chow mein, rice, egg foo young and a variety of stir-fry dishes. I ate three big bowls – yes three – and I was proud!

Friday the 13th brought about my actual birthday. Fun fact - I was also born on a Friday the 13th, which resulted in my dad contemplating that I may be related to Satan for the first three years of my life. After a long day at work some of my friends and I went out for dinner (and some cheeky beverages) at a Mexican bar/grill called Chiquito. The food was phenomenal. To start, I ate three sweet potato and feta cheese tostadas (as well as one of Kayleigh’s BBQ chicken wings and a slice of Ellen’s garlic bread). For a main – it was all about a chicken and chorizo burger with corn salsa and at the end of the meal I was thoroughly birthday shamed when the girls brought out a mini Thornton’s chocolate cake to share, enticing the restaurant to loudly sing happy birthday in unison. After all this food, I was on the verge of passing out at the table, however, IT WASN’T OVER. A very sweet waitress after hearing that it was my birthday kindly brought me over a gooey chocolate brownie on the house, initiating both another round of singing and the beginning of me actually losing the feeling in my face due to excessive food consumption. Not only did I eat all the calories, I also decided to drink all the calories by indulging in some festive cocktails (I know it’s still November but if John Lewis are starting to get Christmasy then so am I). I also got a diet coke to errr…. watch my waistline (it had extended beyond the Scottish border at this point regardless). 

Saturday was spent heading up to Leeds to catch up with a few of my zoology friends to celebrate one of them (Sophia) moving into her new house with none other than a good old fashioned house-parteh!!! The night was quite messy with rounds of beer pong, flip cup and bullshit (a card game based on deceit) ensuring everyone was well beyond merry and the food was non-stop. I ate 1 and ½ whole pizzas over the course of 24 hours along with brownies, sweets and copious amounts of vodka. All of which left me feeling somewhat tender come Sunday. However, with the morning after came a gorgeous fry up before indulging the hangover even further with a snugly film session watching 'What we do in the shadows'. This is an awesome film about a mockumentary on old-world vampires living in modern New Zealand. If you haven't seen it, give it a go!

After a bit of recovery we ventured out for lunch (the call of food is always strong) and wound up at Las Iguanas (another Mexican grill). A starter of chicken enchiladas and ¾ of a sweet potato burrito later thoroughly ascertained that the last four days of non-stop eating and drinking had started to take it's tole on my stomach.  We perused around Leeds’ Christmas market to ensue we all got into a festive spirit before heading to the station and parting ways.

Did I feel like a bloated goblin by the end of the weekend – yes. Did I regret it – no. I like to reassure my inner fat child (Lewis) that he is well loved every now and again.

Now that my birthday is over I think a bit of a detox is in order before Christmas roles around and I begin eating for three again. However, I’ve decided to ease myself into it with some healthy treat foods so that I won’t feel like I’m depriving Lewis of anything. Lewis gets angry when he feels deprived and punishes me with hallucinations of cheesecake.

I’ve made this banana bread a few times and it has a 100% success rate for satisfying a sweet craving in a pinch. Because it’s lightened up, I also eat it pretty regularly and even have it for breakfast. Aaaah banana bread, I can always rely on you. You’ll never leave me (until I eat you in a manner that resembles something out of Jurassic park).

Hope you guys enjoy, stay safe, stay full :) 

Not so naughty 'nana Bread

Serves around 8

Ingredients:

2 over-ripe large bananas - peeled and mashed (aggressively if need be) - if using small/medium bananas, I recommend using 3.
1 1/2 cups oat flour

1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
1/2-1 tsp cinnamon
1 egg
1/4 cup almond milk
1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar or lemon juice
1/4 cup unsweetened apple sauce (or Greek yoghurt)
1 tsp vanilla extract
Optional - 1/4-1/3 cup sweetener of choice (truvia. coconut sugar, brown sugar)
Optional add ins - 1/4 cup chopped walnuts and dark chocolate chips

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius (350 Fahrenheit).
Start by mixing the almond milk with the vinegar/lemon juice - warning - it will curdle a bit and you will think that I am secretly trying to poison you but trust me, it's going to be ok. This is going to act as a buttermilk substitute to activate the bicarbonate of soda.
Set the milk mixture aside (try not to look directly at it) and chuck the rest of the wet ingredients into a bowl, mixing until combined.
Combine the dry ingredients in another bowl before mixing with the wet ingredients and the milk.
Feel free to stir in any extras you would like at this point - for me, chocolate and walnuts are pretty much my safety net when it comes to baking.
After all is looking slightly more cake-batter like, place into a loaf pan sprayed with cooking spray and pop into the oven for 30 minutes. After this, I like to remove it, cover with foil, turn it around and then return it to the oven for 20-30 minutes more.
Voila! Banana bread is ready to go!
Also, this recipe works well in muffin tins - banana bread muffins - hell yes.